summer, bike riding, and my thoughts

Summer has made it's way to Arizona. I know this because of a few reasons. Reason number one being that when my mother, sister and I decided to go on a bike ride down to get smoothies ended with us being covered in sweat and sporting flushed faces after just two blocks. Reason number two being that when my friend Cordae and I went to the zoo we headed straight for the splash pad (where Talis and Brazia played for about 10 minutes) and pretty much left after because it was too hot (at 9:30 in the morning!). And Reason number three being the return of cockroaches that I see on nightly walks around the neighborhood (yuck! nothing grosses me out more). So swimming has become a daily staple to me and T's routine and well anything else that involves water really.

The other day after Dj got home from work we headed over to Lumber Liquidators to check out their selection of flooring. On the drive over there I was chatting away to Dj (as usual) about funny things that had happened that day, friends I had met up with, adventures me and T had gone on, and so on. And it just so happened that day that we visited the zoo in the morning and played in the splash pad, went to T's baby playgroup and went swimming, and went to lunch with four of my girlfriends (two of which are usually out of state),played with Tank and Weezy, and took a quality nap time all before Dj got home. Anyway this is basically a really round about way of saying that Dj was shocked about all we had done that day in which I went on to tell him how I feel that I am falling short in terms of being a good mommy. I see a lot of my friends and other moms and it seems like every day they are teaching their child something new, taking their kid on fun filled adventures all the time, and still somehow manage to have their house cleaned and their pre baby body back. Most days me and T just hang out at home and I'm doing good if I remember to move the clean clothes from the washer to the dryer (which I often don't and have to rewash all over again). Motherhood is hard. I've never felt so much joy, so much love and so much patience along with so much sleep deprivation, sacrifice, and inadequacy as I have in the few months I've been a mom. Why are the most important life lessons we learn the ones that come only with experience? If only someone could truly prepare you for motherhood I think I would be so much better at it...