Friday, March 30, 2012

why I love Washington...

So remember about my intense love for the state of Washington? Even though I was born there, grew up there as a kid, and have family there, my passion for the evergreen state didn't develop until last year around spring break. Let me back up, waaaaay up.....


When we found out we were expecting Talis we were pretty shocked. Babies weren't in our plan until later on after schooling, careers, and our "young years" were under our belts. Dj was born to be a great dad so he was ecstatic. I on the other hand was freaked. All I saw with that little plus sign on the pregnancy test was sacrifices, sacrifices that I wasn't ready (or willing) to make. I was torn between wanting to "make something of myself" and being an incredible mom (little did I know I wouldn't have to choose). So I coped with overloading myself for reasons I'm still not really sure. I signed up to take 19 credit hours the next semester, I started interning 8 hours a week, and I continued working full time (12 hour rounds on night shift). From keeping up with classes, schoolwork, work, and trying to sleep (many days throughout the week I'd get off work at 7am, go home and change, and head to class till noon) left me little time that I almost always used to have emotional breakdowns were Dj would find me sobbing (I couldn't get over my negative feelings about having kids).

The first half of the semester sped by and before we knew it spring break was coming up. Determined to spend as much Dj and Lei time before the baby arrived we talked about going on a trip. We had saved a bunch of money from both working so hard and tried to decide between numerous places to go. It wasn't until my mom  so graciously offered for us to use her free flight miles and thinking it best to go somewhere with family that we decided to go to Washington. We made arrangements with family, booked our flight, rental car, and hotel for one night and were set. I was so tired and exhausted by this time that all I was looking forward too was a whole week off from school and work.

Having saved up so much money we were able to spoil ourselves. We went shopping (although by this time I was quite pregnant) for our trip, stayed one night at the fanciest hoteland ate like kings. We planned out our week so we would be able to fit in the most that we could. I took Dj to my old neighborhood and showed him where I grew up and where my grandparents spent the majority of their married lives. We hiked down to Seahurst beach using a trail me and my siblings used to go on daily. We went to Pikes Place Market, the Seattle Aquarium, and rode the ferry to Bremerton. We visited with family from both my mom and dad's side. Our cousins took us to Paseo's for the best Cuban sandwiches and made us try pho at Pho King. Dj planned a one day road trip to Olympic National Park and we got to experience some of the most beautiful scenery we've both ever seen.

But for me this trip was when I started to change my perspective. I had spent my entire pregnancy thus far stressing and working myself ragged that during our trip I actually started to enjoy life. And while spoiling ourselves for a week was fun it wasn't the reason for my change in attitude. Dj was my reason. Getting to spend so much time with my sweet husband helped me to realize that even though I was scared about having this baby I wasn't alone. I started to see my husband in a whole new light. Here I was thinking of every negative thing I could think of about being a parent and Dj, from day one, just saw the pregnancy as the simple and pure blessing that it was. He never once grew tired of comforting me in the middle of night when I'd be crying. He was constantly happy and positive when all I'd be doing was complaining. I have the most beautiful memories from our trip to Washington. And while the sites we got to see were amazing it's the memories of my husband that I'll never forget.

I'll never forget how he patiently listened to me ramble on about every childhood memory that came flooding back during our trip. I'll never forget how he insisted I catch up on sleep when we were driving and turned on my seat heater to help me fall asleep. I'll never forget how he always seemed to pick me up sour patch kids (my pregnancy craving) at every gas station we stopped at. I'll never forget how his hand always found mine or how proud he was that my baby belly had come in full force.

I have always liked Washington but my love for the state started during our baby-moon vacation because it's the place where I was reminded of how blessed I am to have the husband I do. It's the place where we had one last trip just the two of us before becoming parents. It's the place where my attitude towards my pregnancy and our baby changed. It's the place where I realized that I needed to go through life more positive or I'd miss out on seeing the blessings that I had. Had I kept on being negative I never would have been able to learn that even though I felt unprepared and unqualified to be a mother at this time my Heavenly Father didn't.

I love my sweet husband who works hard for our family and never ceases to encourage me to do what makes me happy. I love that baby that was inside my belly that now wiggles and giggles in my arms. So that's why I love the ever so green state, Washington :)











4 comments:

mindy said...

i love reading your blog- but this post was beautiful! i love its raw & real & honest. every momma feels that in her first pregnancy- i'm sure! anywho- we all need to hang out- ASAP

Annie said...

I love honest talk! Thanks for the post!

Juelaine Noa said...

well isn't this just the most tender post ever! You made me miss washington! I haven't been there in forever. it will always hold awesome memories for us! :) miss you!!!

Nat & Tommy said...

random I know but this post was amazing Leilani. I had a lot of mixed feelings during my pregnancy also..but the blessings that came from having our baby girl are endless and I can't imagine life any other way! Sounds like you have felt the same :) congrats on your cute family!!