Oh HEY!

Remember me? My name is Leilani, I have two little boys and I'm married to my highschool sweetheart? Oh yah and I used to blog on this thing once in a while every blue moon? Well I'm back! I cannot make any guarantees as to how long I'll stay consistently blogging but thats all part of the fun. :) So Lets see whats been going on in the years *cringe* since I last checked in. Our boys grew because kids sadly tend to do that, DJ has changed jobs, I started assistant coaching boys club volleyball, and we have another baby on the way. I think that about covers the jist of it all.

Pros & Cons of Coloring Your Own Hair

Pros & Cons of Coloring Your Hair at Home:

PRO-you don't have to travel to a salon

CON-you may have to juggle a one year old who's whining to go in the backyard and neighbors knocking at the door all while trying to finish mixing the color and developer in a cereal bowl

PRO-you are able to do your hair anytime you feel like it without having to make an appointment

CON-sometimes that means you convince your hair stylist AKA mom to squeeze you in before shes runs out the door. Meaning your left to rinse out the color yourself which you manage to stain half your face with

PRO-you just send your mom a picture of what you want your hair to look like and she gets the color at the beauty supply

CON-realizing the fact that you just sent her a picture of one of the kardashian sisters and feeling the same guilt you do when you watch their show. i wanna hate them, but i just can't.

PRO-a lot cheaper 

CON-unless you figure all the errand running and foot rubs your mom will get out of you for doing your hair

(jk she doesn't make me do that, although she should. she's way to good to me)

Father's Day

Happiest of Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there! But especially to DJ, who is so loving and funny and always down for an adventure. I'm so glad that my boys have such a great man to call their father. We love him so so much!

Father's Day 2014 from leilani reynolds on Vimeo.

jiu juitsu class

Last night we took Talis to his first little Brazilian jiu jitsu class. I've been wanting to put him in a few things. Kind of dying to really. One of the things I looked forward to the most when becoming a mom was the day that I would get to watch my little loves find passion in different things they enjoyed doing like sports, music, and art. And while I know at this age it isn't passion more of a fun and social activity for them, it is the best getting to observe your kids learn and explore the world around them.

 He was the youngest in his class with the next youngest kid being five years old. They had the kids run around the mat, take turns jumping over pads, go down and back doing different things like skipping and bear crawling, did a little bit of floor work (which Talis wasn't into much) and finished the class with a little game of dodge ball. He really did so good I was such a proud mom on the side with the cheesiest smile on my face the whole time watching him. At one point DJ even looked at me and asked, "Are you about to cry?", which I totally was guilty of. 

He tried his hardest to copy everything the teachers were doing and kept up so well with all the other kids who clearly had been taking the class for a while. There were a handful of times when he'd get chatty with the kids next to him and try to play with them during the teachers instruction but even that was pretty precious to see.

Talis-isms

  (^^^selfie of Talis that I found on my phone ^^^)

-"hey mommy Cat Woman! hey daddy Bane! hey baby Robin!" (Everything is Batman related these days.)

-"mommy let's play dada's la-la-Legos!"

-"I can say 'bum'" 

-"Shake your whole booo-day!"

- Talis-"mom I'm sick of this!"
   Me-"Sick of what?"
   Talis-"I'm sick of toys! I'm sick of movies! I'm sick of books! I'm sick of this!"

- "oh my gosh! I need to go help baby brother bear!

- gives Miles a plastic fork to play with and then spanks him on the butt while saying "go have fun baby"

Sometimes

Sometimes I don't feel inspired to keep up my blog. Sometimes I'd rather snuggle my kids extra long that night or have some actual uninterrupted pillow talk time with my husband than blog late at night. Sometimes I feel like updating my blog but realize I havent in so long and I get overwhelmed at that guilt of "having to play catch up" on what we've been up to lately. And sometimes I feel all of those things and still want to blog but am not sure where to start. So I guess a photo dump is the best way???

Snapshots of Life

^^miles turning the kitchen cupboards into his own personal hideout^^

^^watching my cousins perform at Aloha Fest^^

^^yogurt pretzels for breakfast^^

^^lovebugs being snuggle bugs ^^

^^sharing snacks^^

^^talis being so sweet and kind to his little cousin ryan. He kept calling her "little cutie" all day this day and insisted that I put on Shrek for them to watch ^^

^^our new play set in the backyard (thanks to the neighbors moving and giving it to us) has turned miles into an expert slide climber^^

rite of passage

Yesterday was a pivotal day around our house. Talis got his hair cut. (Let me just grab my brown paper bag and breathe into it for a second. Just thinking about it makes me start to go into some sort of panic attack). It was a pretty quick decision for I knew if we stewed on the idea or too long I wouldn't be able to go through with it. He instantly went from our little Talis to suddenly a little boy who gained 3 years in age and several inches in height. Dj and I still can't get over it. He looks so handsome in his new do and he was such a stud while he got his hair cut.  He made me one proud mama with how fearless he was. I already miss his long hair (I think mainly because he looks SO much older now and that makes me the  saddest!) but no matter what hairstyle T's got he'll always look handsome. 

^^Talis right after his haircut holding his ponytail!^^

Sickness Round 548

K so maybe I exaggerated a little, we are more like on sickness round four in our family in the last two months. I spent late Monday night in urgent care with Miles after everyone collectively having the worst day ever. Turns out Miles has croup and an upper respiratory infection (and we're almost positive Talis has the same thing just not as bad because whenever he gets his heart rate up the littlest big his breathing gets labored and it throws him in a huge coughing fit that makes him throw up). So that's been our week so far. A steady stream of steroids, breathing treatments, antibiotics, cough syrup, and everyone slowly loosing their mind. I suppose we've moved on from chronic double ear infections to this. I'm on what seems like my fifth round of a sinus infection and have become best friends with my netty pot the past two months or so. I recently read about oil pulling and how it can dramatically aid in sinus relief. Has anyone ever tried it? I've read nothing but positive stuff about it so I decided to try it out. Been trying it the past few days and I got to say, beside the gag factor I'm kind of a fan already. My mouth feels really clean and my sinuses seem to loosen up a little after. So here's to gaining a greater appreciation for our health and crossing our fingers we can all move on from being sick (finally) as a family. And also cute cuddly babies in urgent care that despite being so sick are still such troopers the entire time.

Parada del Sol

Went to the Parada del Sol Rodeo last night. I can honestly say this was our first rodeo ;) My brother in law scored the whole family VIP tickets and we made a night of it. We ate at Picadillo's before heading out there and that place is like a sensory overload of flashing lights and workers rushing you to order. If you ever go there don't get the BBQ chicken salad, get a hot dog or something. I think they might be known for their hot dogs? The rodeo was super fun and Talis and Miles loved it! We were completely in awe watching the cowboys try to stay on the buckin horses. It looks so much scarier in real life, those guys have to suffer from whiplash on the daily.  Being at the rodeo made me want to take vacation on a dude ranch somewhere and just ride horses in the wilderness or something. It was bringing out all sorts of an inner cowgirl in me. Can't wait to go to another rodeo sometime, Yee Haw!

a video

Rereading over last nights post and feeling a little down. I didn't mean to come across as such a downer. So to help bring the cheery back I'm showing this video from today of the boys playing with each other. It is my new favorite video of them and I've already watched it roughly 30 times already.

brothers from leilani reynolds on Vimeo.

a moment

It's 1:05 in the morning. It's 1:05 in the morning and I'm sitting at the computer in our room trying to type as softly as I can for I know if DJ wakes up he'll tell me to go back to bed. I'm sitting here writing because that's all I really know how to do when my heart feels full. I feel like a vessel full of emotions just full enough that I've become a danger of unloading at any given time. I feel like I've just done that. That my pent up emotions that I've been hiding and pushing back have fully come full circle and I have to deal with them. Which is scary because I don't know how, I don't know how to deal. The last few months has been a build up of worries and stresses and trying to cope and handle things that I never thought I'd have to handle. I don't want to go into detail nor do I want anyone to think the worst. It's more a personal thing. Like something that I feel like I've been wrestling with by myself. Although not totally by myself because I know DJ has noticed a change in my for a while. I guess I should slow down and explain a little better.

I haven't felt myself. I haven't felt myself in a long while it seems. I've felt like I had developed this shadow, this ever nagging shadow that would cast itself on anything and everything happy and joyful and be negative. I have never considered myself a negative person yet here I was feeling hopeless and unable to find the good in situations and people. I've become reclusive, once a very social girl and now I would get anxiety at the thought of having to try to keep up a conversation with someone. I had grown this self-demeaning attitude that seems to have soared to it's highest possible point where I hate almost everything about me. When I look in the mirror I only see how my once toned and skinny body has developed a belly and all over weight that I can't seem to shed. I see hair that hasn't been to the salon since September and I get angry at the reminder that I don't have extra spending money to keep up my hair. I see an unwashed face with makeup on from the night before last that has yet to be cleaned off for lack of any time for myself. I see a woman who had given up so many of my own personal goals in exchange of becoming a wife and mom and was filled with sadness and jealously every time someone else accomplished their goals (and than adding that crippling self guilt because of it.). I've been seeing the worst in myself for a while now and it has effected almost every aspect of my life, most importantly my role as a mother and wife. My patience seemed nonexistent and I'd easily get upset with the boys. I would take anything and everything out on DJ and started to resent him for things about myself that I was blaming him for, unjustly and undeserving of course. Self-help books, new diet programs, and compulsive shopping all seemed to help a little but only temporarily. I was feeling hopeless and I'm sure my little family was too just wanting me to snap out of whatever cloud seemed to permanently set up shop over my head.

Around midnight Miles started crying. He wasn't so much crying as he was moaning, like he needed something but was to tired to fully wake up and figure out what it was. I waited to see if he would go back to sleep. I decided I should probably intervene before he woke up Talis and went in the room. I fed him a bottle and rocked him slowly back and forth in the rocking chair. I started taking it all in. I've filled their room with so many sleep aids in hopes that it would help them both get a solid nights sleep that I just now was realizing how either silly or extremely comforting their room was at night. Their two fans on high, their humidifier humming away, the essential oil diffuser filling the room with the scent of lavender, the various blue nightlights and the sound machine constantly putting out the sound of ocean waves. Then I started to really look. At Miles's round fists that clenched around his bottle, his pillowy cheeks smooshed up against me, Talis' sleeping horizontally on his bed with his little legs crossed. The whole scene kind of hit me all at once and tears started streaming down my face, fast and uncontrollably. I felt every ounce of love I had for these little boys all at once and I started to feel the self guilt and unworthiness creep in. Why did I get to be these little boys' mommy? Why was I trusted to raise these precious spirits when I felt at such a loss with my own. Why did I deserve their attention and adoration every day when there were days when I just wanted to mentally check out? 

It was then that I started praying. I started praying to my Heavenly Father, something that I shamefully had stopped doing a while ago because I was so frustrated with what seemed like one unanswered prayer after another. I thanked him for every little thing about those two precious boys. I thanked him for letting me be their mommy. I apologized for giving up on him so easily, for stopping my prayers. I asked him to help me. To help this dark shadow that's been looming over me to pass, to help me get out of this funk that I can't seem to shake. To help me know what to do and do it. To feel inspired. And most importantly to help me stop putting this crippling self guilt on myself for silly things that don't matter. I didn't see an angel. I didn't suddenly know all the answers, I didn't suddenly feel like myself again. But I felt better. In that moment in that room with Miles in my lap, Talis sleeping a few feet away and tears running down my cheeks I felt better and a slight peace. It wasn't massive. It was barely noticeable the amount of better and peace I felt but I felt it. And it was what I needed at the time. And I felt I needed to write about it. I don't know exactly what it is I'm struggling with. Depression? Life crisis? Stress? I don't know. But I believe that Satan in real and so is Heavenly Father. And in that room for that moment I made a plea with Heavenly Father for help and he sent me a little. A little peace. A little calm. A little reminder to turn to him and unload my burden. And I feel like this is the start of me doing that...

Gilbert temple

Tonight we got to tour the new Gilbert temple for the second time as a family. I like it a lot. I also really like these guys a lot. Like kinda a whole lot ;)

photo dump

bored iphone picture taking / new years backyard bon fire /christmas cruisin' / sick day playing / model shot / 9 month check ups

2 years and 4 months

I tend to ask Talis lots of questions in the moments when he's feeling chatty (which seem to become more and more frequent these days). I decided to write down some of the answers. This is what he had to say...

What's your favorite thing to watch on t.v.?

Wreck It Ralph

What's your favorite thing to eat?

goldfisss

Who is your favorite person?

snacks!

Who do you want to be when you grow up?

Fix-it Felix

Who's your best friend?

Wreck It Ralph

What's your favorite color?

pink

How high can you count?

points back and forth from the paper, to me, and to him laughing

When do you wanna cut your hair?

NO!

What did you eat for dinner last night?

opens his mouth and says "AH"

What does daddy do?

starts yawning

What does mommy do?

mommy happy. mommy do tings

What do you think about your brother Miles?

He happy!

Ryan Kaliea

Yesterday I became a auntie. My sister went into labor 3 weeks early with her sweet little girl. She needed to have an emergency c section because both her and the baby were under to much stress but both are doing wonderfully. I am so excited to be an aunt! I've only wanted to be an aunt since forever so I'm glad it finally happened. I'm most excited for my sister and brother-in-law though. I'm excited for them to experience parenthood. I'm excited for my sister to be a mommy. I know she'll be an incredible one. Welcome to the family Ryan! I can't wait to spoil you rotten! :)

3 Queens

Somedays I struggle with being a stay-at-home mom. I feel incredibly blessed that I am able to stay at home with our boys and that we don't have to take them to daycare or know that anyone but me will be watching them throughout the day. I know that being home with them is where I should be to best be able to teach and nurture my children. But it doesn't mean that there are moments or days where I wish differently.

 I've had my fair share of moments when I see fellow women my age with nice wardrobes were I'm still squeezing into faded and out of style clothes that I've had since high school because new clothes for me just isn't in our budget and I've considered going back to work just to be able to go shopping when I please. Days where Talis won't listen to a thing I say and Miles won't let me put him down and I wish that I was in an office somewhere surrounded by people that won't pound on the door and yell for me when I'm going to the bathroom. I like to think that this is normal. That all moms feel this way to some degree. I may be wrong, I may be the only one that struggles with having the blessing of being a stay-at-home mom because it is a blessing.

I found this video on Vimeo the other day and it nearly made me tear up. I was having one of those days I was talking about and was about to throw in the towel for the day (In retrospect I pretty much already did, I hid out in my room looking at videos on Vimeo while the boys watched cartoons downstairs) when I came across this video. It really helped to turn my day around, gave me a much needed new perspective for the day. Instead of feeling burdened with the title of a stay-at-home mom I again felt honored.

So for any moms out there that might be feeling a little under appreciated and overwhelmed today check out this video and it will remind you just how lucky us moms are.

 3 Queens from Matt 

Sedona

Last week we got to go up to Sedona for the day to take family pictures and hang out with the Reynolds side of the family. It was a fun day. That Sedona man, its so pretty. Who knew that little gem of a town was hiding in Arizona? Not I. I've only drove through Sedona but never stopped there. Especially when the fall colors were in full force. Here is two pictures I stole off of DJ's phone, the actual pictures are on our camera and well, you know how that goes. If it ain't taken on the iphone then the chances of it getting uploaded in a decent time frame are slim.

Halloween

Halloween has come and gone and with that another year of family costumes. This year we went with the Wreck It Ralph theme. It seemed fitting since Talis makes us watch it at least three times a day.  I personally wasn't really wanting to dress up along with the boys, I was thinking DJ and I could go a different route this year. But I figured this is probably the last year that we could all dress up as a family. DJ and I put our costumes together the day of so forgive the poor quality and the fact that we both look more like homeless people. Talis and Miles however, they make their costumes look pretty good. Talis was Fix It Felix and Miles was King Candy. 

 I'm positive that I'll be spending my time trying to convince Talis that Thanksgiving is fun too. I''ll say to him "Talis we get to celebrate Thanksgiving this month! Do you know what we do on Thanksgiving? Do you know what we say? We eat turkey and we say 'I'm thankful' !" and he always replies with "we say twick oh tweet. no turkey! eat candy!" Can't blame the kid, he's got a point, candy always trumps turkey. Hope everyone had a good Halloween!

bathtime

Happy almost Halloween! I'm kind of over Halloween this year which is so unlike me. I'm all about the costumes and candy and especially about scaring the neighborhood kids but I'm just ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. I have to say though that Talis and Miles were a blast at our church trunk-or-treat. This year Talis actually trick-or-treated and it was pretty adorable. He dragged his trick-or-treat bag the whole time as he walked. I should have shown him how to hold his bag up higher on the handles so it wouldn't drag but I just thought it was too cute. And hearing him say "twick oh tweat" and "tank you!" was  adorable. Miles fell asleep shortly after we got there. Something about not being old enough to eat candy I guess takes most of the fun out of the holiday.

With how cool the weather had become during the day (FINALLY Arizona!) and our new backyard in place we spend all day out there. Which means that most nights skipping out on baths isn't much of an option. I swear little boys attract dirt and grime like it's their job (but I guess it kinda is).  Bath time around here has become one of my favorite times of day. I usually leave the bathroom soaked in bath water from all the splashing that those two crazy boys do but I've grown used to it. 

Untitled from leilani reynolds on Vimeo.